a bad investment
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Ok, Reader, It's 2005. Everyone had a Dooney & Bourke bag, so — because I had no sense of self and needed to be liked — I REALLY wanted a Dooney & Bourke bag. It would be life-changing, I told my mother. And I entirely believed it. I needed one Dooney & Bourke in particular: the one with cartoon hearts that makes you look like an idiot for paying as much as you did for it. It looked like this (thank you, people of Poshmark, who still actually have these): I was working as a receptionist at a hair salon, and I had the money. So one Saturday afternoon, I walked into the mall Dillard's and forked over what-felt-like a MILLION DOLLARS. And I walked out with my Dooney & Bourke. The smell of new leather wafted into my upturned nose and then … Buyer’s remorse hit. haaaaaard. What the fuck am I doing with this bag. I’m 15 years old. I go to high school and work a part-time job and watch a lot of Gilmore Girls. I can’t drive. I shouldn’t look like a fresh divorcée in Beverly Hills who’s trying to wean off pills. I hated the bag. But I carried it because what else are you going to do when you spent your last million dollars. It was a constant reminder of my poor decision. I wish I had spent it on volleyball camp, or a lifetime supply of those fuzzy dice to put on my rearview mirror the next year, or to bribe Addison Templeton to be my boyfriend. We misallocate our hard-earned money all of the time — especially when it comes to our businesses. I’m constantly seeing my entrepreneurs invest in things they *think* will make them more sales.
And none of those investments ever turn into what they’re supposed to: MORE SALES. Because at the core of those things is something you’ve been ignoring: Your Writing. It’s this simple: You make sales when your audience READS your stuff and likes it. So why are we chasing superfluous Dooney & Bourke bags as high school sophomores when we need to just pay attention in class and learn some fundamentals? Well ... the fundamentals show up tomorrow. I'll send you a fancy link tomorrow as The Copy Audit is ready. Much love ✌️ Kelsey |
website copywriter for edgy businesses
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